I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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