the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
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bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
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I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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