if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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