this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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