How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
