need another drink. this is the easiest way
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
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he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
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Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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