I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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