I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Randomize
