She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize