What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
