My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
