Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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