There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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