Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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