Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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