pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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