She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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