I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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