she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize