wat bout pragnant strippers??
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
