yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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