hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize