Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
