Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
