all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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