Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
