Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
