I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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