Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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