You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The adults are the big ones right?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
