Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
