it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
