Duck Duck Cougar?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
