if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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