Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
