he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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