she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
