I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
