quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
