i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
whose parrot is this?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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