I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
