it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
