It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
