The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
