I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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