:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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