Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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