The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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