I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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