clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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