I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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