You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
