Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
