woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
