I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
