He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
