oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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