I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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