I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
is wine microwaveable?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
