So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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