I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
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Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
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Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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